


FIH

by Laparoscopic



Category: El Goonish Shive
Genre: Arousal, F/F, F/M, M/M, Masturbation, Multi, Porn Ficlets, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-06-09 07:54:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15262848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laparoscopic/pseuds/Laparoscopic
Summary: A series of brief, occasionally sexy scenes with a common phrase.





	1. Elliot

Elliot held the shopping basket in front of him, trying to hide his unexpectedly hard cock. _Hells bells, I thought I’d outgrown this,_ he grumbled to himself. Sudden, uncontrollable public erections were a distressing fact of life for pubescent boys, but at eighteen, Elliot had thought that he was long past such embarrassments.

Apparently not.

 _This is all Ashley’s fault_ , he thought. _If she hadn’t shown me her more…_ ** _creative_** _…uses for English cucumbers, I wouldn’t be blushing in the produce aisle._ He’d never imagined that he might acquire a conditioned sexual response to grocery produce. Or that it would only take one exposure to form that response. But against his will, the mental image of Ashley slowly slipping the slim green cucumber up her ass kept playing through his mind. As well as the more tactile memory of replacing the vegetable dildo with his own extremely hard cock several minutes later.

He turned away from the cucumbers, only to be confronted by a display of carrots. And then asparagus. And then bananas. And then husked corn on the cob. It seemed no matter which way he turned, he was confronted with phallic fruits and vegetables, and his overly salacious imagination provided him with graphic mental images of all the creative uses his girlfriend might put them to. He finally just closed his eyes, and tried, not very successfully, to direct his thoughts to less prurient lines. He sighed.

_Fuck, I’m horny…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For more produce-related details, see [_Pillow Talk_](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16154594).


	2. Justin

Justin stood pressing his body as close as he could up against the counter at the comic shop, so that his erection would not be visible from the customer side of the counter. He glowered silently at Luke, who stood a few feet away, ostensibly reading the new Spiderman comic. Luke had a small satisfied smirk on his face.

Justin hoped that his face wasn’t as red as it felt. Or that Ducky wouldn’t look up far enough to notice it. Thankfully, he was pretty focused on the notebook full of game cards.

_Dammit, it’s not fair to turn me on like that in the middle of my work day_ , Justin grumbled to himself. Not that Luke had done all that much. Just dragged a single fingernail down the side of Justin’s neck during a brief moment when there were no customers around. Before Justin could react with anything other than a gasp and a rush of blood to his cock, Ducky had walked in, allowance in hand, looking for some new cards.

Justin shuddered a little as he remembered the sensation, which only made his problem that much worse.

“You okay, dude?” asked Ducky.

Justin tore his attention away from silently glaring at his boyfriend and back to his customer. “Yeah. I’m fine. Why do you ask?”

“I asked you twice, would you take five bucks for these three cards?”

Justin glanced at the indicated cards. They added up to seven and a half dollars; five bucks was a much deeper discount than they would usually give for such a small purchase, but if it would get Ducky out of the store sooner, he’d happily pay for the extra discount out of his own pocket. “Yeah, sure.”

Ducky looked startled, obviously surprised to have his ludicrously low offer accepted, but he didn’t question his good luck. “Cool.”

Justin took his money and slid the three cards into protective sleeves and bagged them. “Have a good day,” he said, mentally urging Ducky out the door.

“Thanks,” said Ducky as he headed towards the door. Justin was just starting to breathe a sigh of relief when Ducky stopped, attention caught by something under the counter. “Hey, wow, is that Ninja Turtles number one?”

Justin groaned silently as he sidled towards Ducky, trying to ignore the sound of his boyfriend snickering behind him.

_Fuck, I’m horny…_


	3. Susan

Susan rolled over in her bed, fluffed her pillow, and tried to lay still. She slowed her breathing, tried to relax her muscles, did everything she usually did to allow herself to fall asleep. But sleep proved elusive. Despite her intention to remain still, she shifted and rolled over a dozen times in the course of as many minutes, feeling out of sorts and uncomfortable in her skin no matter what position she was in.

Finally, she gave up and sat up with a sigh, conceding that sleep would not be immediately forthcoming. She turned on her bedside lamp, and scooted up so she was leaning against the headboard of her bed. She buried her face in her hands and rubbed wearily for a moment, annoyed with herself. With her body. And its run-away desires.

_Blast it, I’ve already had two orgasms this evening. There’s no Earthly reason I should still be feeling turned on!_

But she was. Distractingly so. Her skin felt hypersensitive, her nipples ached, and she was aggrieved to realize she was ridiculously wet. _If this keeps up, I’m going to have to start wearing a pad at night just to keep from wetting the bed._

She groaned softly to herself. Once upon a time, she had found it easy to keep her libido in check. She would masturbate once a week, on Sunday nights, and ninety percent of the time that was enough to keep her satiated, on an even keel for the rest of the week.

Then came fairy dolls. Multi-orgasmic fairy dolls.

And Sarah and Tedd. And Grace. Lovely, sexy, _masculine_ Grace, with his gentle mouth and shape-shifting penis. Susan bit her lip as she recalled the sensation of Grace sliding in and out of her.

Ever since having sex with Grace a couple of weeks ago, her libido had been cranked up to eleven. She had masturbated nightly to the memories of that day. She’d found her gaze lingering speculatively on various people at school and at work. Not just friends, like Elliot or Catalina, but even strangers. People she had no emotional connection to whatsoever. Which was not something she had _ever_ done before.

 _It’s not as if Grace didn’t satisfy me_ , she grumbled to herself. _So why am I so much_ ** _more_** _horny now?_

She shook her head in resignation, and opened the drawer on the bedside stand. She pulled out her little silver bullet vibrator, and stared at it glumly for a moment. She briefly considered the candlestick that she sometimes used as a dildo, but she rejected that option. Having experienced a real live human penis (well, human/alien, a pedantic corner of her mind noted), the waxy phallus substitute no longer appealed to her.

And, to be honest, it was a bit too small to be fully satisfying. She didn’t feel in danger of reaching Sarah-like levels of desire for over-sized penises, but the stretch and gentle ache she’d felt with Grace inside her had been…quite nice. The one time she’d tried her candlestick since then, it had just been annoying. An inadequate faint echo of what Grace had felt like.

Susan checked to make sure her box of kleenex was within easy reach for clean-up afterwards, then she lifted her hips and shoved her pajama pants part-way down her thighs. _Just a quickie_ , she thought to herself. _Just enough to relax me, let me get to sleep._ The little bullet vibe buzzed in her hand.

_Frak, I’m horny…_


	4. Grace

“ _Fudge_ , I’m horny,” Grace said, causing Tedd to spew a mouthful of soda across the kitchen table. Fortunately, the spray missed the pizza box and everyone’s plates.

“ _Tedd!_ Gross!” protested Susan, even as she was getting up to grab a sponge from the sink.

Tedd was still coughing, and Sarah was laughing too hard to say anything, so it fell to Elliot to say, “Ah, Grace…that isn’t the kind of thing you normally say in public.”

Grace gave him a puzzled look. “Huh? Why not? Doesn’t everyone get horny sometime?”

“Uh…Well, yeah, but…”

Sarah got her giggling under control enough to say, “Yes, sweetie, but…you usually doesn’t say so in polite company.”

Grace looked around the Verres’ kitchen table at her friends. “ _This_ is polite company?”

Elliot laughed. “You may have a point there.”

“I’m _always_ horny, so there’d be no point in my ever saying so,” said Ashley, apparently inspired by Grace’s openness. Which caused Sarah to dissolve into giggles again as Elliot turned scarlet. “Uh, well, I mean, it’s not that I’m never _satisfied,_ with Elliot…but we can’t, uh, you know…twenty-four-seven…I mean…” She trailed off and joined Elliot in embarrassed shades of red.

Susan rescued Ashley as she wiped down the table. “Yes, Grace, almost everyone gets horny sometimes, but, like most things involving sex, there’s a social curtain of silence around that fact. It’s kind of like talking about how often you masturbate.”

“But we talked about _that_ last month,” said Grace, looking puzzled.

Elliot’s eyes bugged out. “You _did?_ What—how often—” He trailed off in the face of Susan’s red-faced glower. “Uh, never mind.”

Tedd had finally stopped coughing. “Sexy squirrel, I love you dearly, but—please don’t do that to me again.”

“That’s not what you said last night,” murmured Sarah with a smirk. Everyone at the table burst into laughter as Tedd took his turn blushing.

As the laughter died down, Grace sighed a little mournfully as she picked up a slice of pizza and took a bite. “But that still doesn’t address the main issue.”

“Issue?”

“Fudge, I’m _horny_!”


	5. Diane

Diane pushed her hair back behind her ear with a quick, frustrated gesture. The physics worksheet in front of her remained annoyingly opaque. _Photons being both particles and waves at the same time just doesn’t make any_ ** _sense_** , she grumbled silently to herself. She knew that that was the point of it, but it was still hard to wrap her mind around. She sighed and looked up at her classmates, wondering if she was the only person having problems. She was mildly reassured to see that everyone else was also working with varying degrees of frustration on their faces.

No, not everyone. Nanase, sitting one seat in front of her to her left was reading…a manga? No, it looked like a Japanese language workbook. Her physics homework was sitting completed on the corner of her desk, the page filled with neat equations and explanations.

 _Good grief, is there anything that girl_ ** _can’t_** _do?_ Diane wondered enviously. _Martial artist, wizard, supernatural detective, multilingual, and now she’s also a physics whiz??_ To say nothing of her stunning beauty. Diane let her gaze linger a moment, her position a little bit behind Nanase assuring her that Nanase wouldn’t notice her scrutiny. _And, God, she’s stacked._ ** _And_** _buff…_

Nanase’s short-sleeve shirt revealed her incredibly toned arms, and Diane’s memory involuntarily drifted back to the locker room after gym class. Where she’d often admired the rest of Nanase’s muscular physique.

Nanase was one of those girls who apparently had little body modesty. She didn’t change under a towel, or race to get dressed after showering like a lot of girls did. Diane licked her lips as she recalled the sight of water dripping down the curve of those large breasts, the taut abs below sculpted and rippling. Diane’s face flushed with unexpected heat as she remembered last week, when Nanase had bent over to pull on her panties, giving Diane a too-brief glimpse of her pink labia framed by soft red pubic hair. And her lovely ass as she slid those panties on…

Diane swallowed hard and tried to drag her attention back to wave-particle duality. But other memories danced before her eyes, and she squirmed involuntarily in her seat, a prickly heat between her legs making it hard to sit still.

_Dang it. I like guys! But...fuck. I’m_ **_horny!_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With thanks to Zee McZed for providing the outline of this installment :-) .


	6. Sarah

Sarah set her sketchpad up on an easel, and glanced nervously around the studio. There were a half-dozen other people there similarly set up, some of them chatting with each other, a couple reading something on their phones. No sign of a model, unless one of those people was going to step forward and strip at some point.

 _Heh. I forgot to read the fine print. We’re supposed to take turns modeling for each other._ She shuddered at the notion. For all that she enjoyed being watched by Susan while making love, that was quite different from the notion of being simply naked in front of a room full of strangers. _Who could ever do such a thing?_ she wondered.

A few more people wandered in and set up sketchpads and drawing supplies. She looked curiously at what tools the other people had on hand. There were a lot of pencils and charcoal, but one woman had an enviably large collection of pastels set on a chair next to her.

A couple of minutes before the drawing session was due to start, a tall man with frizzy gray hair and beard walked into the room and walked to the center of the space. “Hey, folks,” he said quietly.

A chorus of “Hi Charlie” and the like came from what Sarah presumed were the regulars.

Charlie clapped his hands together and looked around the room. “I see we have a few new faces here today”—his gaze lingered briefly on Sarah and two other people—“so I’ll just go over our routine for them. We’ll start with ten one minute poses, then four five minute poses, then we’ll do a two-hour long pose, with a couple of ten minute breaks in the middle so the model doesn’t suffer from terminal muscle cramping. This is an open drawing session, not a class, so we don’t provide formal instruction or feedback, but I and a few of the other regulars like Irish or Sharon are always willing to offer comments and suggestions if you ask us.”

“You mean you have to actually _ask_ Irish to get an opinion out of him?” asked one of the men drily.

“Stuff it, Alex,” said a short man in cowboy boots as the rest of the regulars laughed.

Charlie waved this distraction aside. “In any event, we’ve got a new model tonight”—

“Aww, I thought the General was scheduled for tonight,” complained the pastels woman.

—“but she’s modeled for artists before, so she’s not a total newbie. And here she is.”

An Asian looking woman with long green hair dressed in a blue terrycloth robe walked into the room, shutting the door behind her. As she walked towards the center of the room, Sarah froze. _It can’t be…_

“So, anyway, this is Claire. Put your cell phones away now, and be kind to her, you animals, and maybe she’ll come back and model for us again sometime.”

Sarah stared at “Claire,” her mind whirling. _So_ ** _this_** _is why Grace was so insistent that I finally try out the open drawing studios this week._ Her transformed lover was in a form she hadn’t seen in a long time, but there was no mistaking who “Claire” really was.

Charlie was talking quietly with Grace, presumably going over the schedule for the evening. Grace nodded a few times, smiling. Then she slipped out of her robe with her usual lack of modesty and hung it on the back of an unused easel. As she turned and surveyed the assembled artists, her expression flickered in a minuscule smile as her gaze passed over Sarah.

Sarah felt her breath hitch just a little at the glance. She always felt a small rush of arousal at seeing her lover undress, and the public setting didn’t detract from that effect. If anything…

Sarah's cheeks flushed and her breathing deepened. It was hard for her to look at her naked lover non-sexually, no matter what her form. Her one-on-one modeling sessions with Grace rarely lasted more than a couple of hours because of that, unless they purposely scheduled them for a time when Edward was at home to inhibit her. Otherwise…sexy times ensued.

As Grace moved into the first of her one-minute poses, Sarah sighed and set charcoal to paper, trying to distract herself by reducing her beloved to an abstract association of shadow and form on the page. Not very successfully.

It was going to be a long three hours.

_Fuck, I’m horny…_


End file.
